Tuesday, February 12, 2013

Night of the Living Dead 3d: Re-Animation (2012)


It’s not every day that I entertain a sequel to a well-established horror classic. Mainly because I have learned there just is no reason to do so. However when it comes to my favorite zombie film, I will sometimes make an exception. When I saw Night of the Living Dead: 3D Reanimation peering out at me from the video store shelf I initially laughed and then, suddenly I was intrigued. Why, Because of one actors name plastered above the title: Jeffrey Combs.

Horror fans know Combs from his portrayal of Dr. Herbert West in H.P. Lovecraft’s Re-Animator and it’s sequels (again the sequels weren’t as good as the original), so the name usually sparks interest whenever it pops up in a genre film. I had high expectations for this one….for some unknown reason.

Combs contemplates his plight.

The movie takes place at a mortuary ran by Gerald Tovar Jr.(Andrew Divoff) Tovar has inherited the place from his father and has been accepting cash incentives from the U.S. Government. It seems the Feds have been dropping of toxic waste and bodies for Tovar and son to get rid of and well now they are starting to come back. Tovar keeps the bodies looked up in room that seems to be filled with toxic fumes….and no one seemed to notice this for quite some time?
Finally Tovar’s brother Harold shows up. Hooray it’s Jeffrey Combs!! Now it’s time to……..TALK! Yes folks this movie comes to a complete and screeching halt! Combs and Divoff now spend the remainder of the film talking, walking and talking and sitting and talking. There is a just a snippit of action as the undead begin to take a chomp or two out of the other characters (employees at the mortuary) but nowhere near enough to make the 90+ minutes go by without making you want to take your own life. Seriously it is that bad! 

Ooooo......ahhhhh......what great CGI!

The gore score is pretty decent for the budget but the 3D effects fall mighty flat. Why do they fall flat? Because there are nonexistent! I watched the 2D version simply because I didn’t want to get my lazy butt off the couch and hunt a pair down. By the time something happened that was directed at the viewer it dawned on me that this was supposed to be in 3D! Someone forgot the 3D aspect throughout the shoot and I guess was reminded at some point and threw one gag in at the end. Speaking of gag, just writing about this film seems to make me nauseous. 

Sister Sarah zombified....darn you gotcha media!

Another groan and gag inducing aspect is the “social commentary” that director Jeff Broadstreet attempted to throw in. It lands flat just like everything else, well except Combs paycheck. I would hope he got a nice one out of this! Broadstreet paints Harold (Combs) as a “Tea Bagger”, a right wing conservative that points out all that is wrong with the liberal world. The movie was released in 2012 so I guess this is about as “en vogue” as it can politically be. It’s hip to bash the conservatives. Broadstreet along with Robert Valding throw in a Sarah Palin type character as well called “Sister Sarah” who has her own show on the “FOX News Channel”. A send up of Tina Fey’s impersonation and it, as I said before, falls miserably flat to the floor and because this is a zombie film, it keeps getting back up and won’t die adding to the pain and frustration to the viewing audience.

George Romero smiles at your misfortune.

I could go on and one but I’m just going to stop here before my head explodes. Don’t rent this pile of steaming zombie guts……no I won’t even be that kind to associate it with rotting organs….this pile of steaming dog poop. It is not worth your time! I should have known better really. I mean it seems to be a direct sequel to Night of the Living Dead 3D that starred Sid Haig. That one was almost as bad as this…..and don’t rent that one either. Just go watch Romero’s original and live a happy and productive life.

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