Can’t sleep? Do the hours slowly pass through the night
while your body decided it’s just not going to sleep? Throw out those No Doze
and whatever doctor prescribed sleeping medicines you may have, fire up the VCR
and take a gander at Ghosts That Still Walk. It is guaranteed to put you to
sleep in first twenty minutes or your money back!
Ruth Douglas (Caroline Howe) is the grandmother of Mark
Douglas (Matt Boston). She has brought Mark to psychiatrist Dr. Sills (Rita
Crafts) to try and get help for Mark because he is having episodes of seizures
and migraine headaches. Mark has an odd episode on the first visit where he
thrusts his hand into a glass case to try and acquire an old Indian relic on
display in the Dr.’s office. This then leads to a session of hypnotherapy with
the Grandma Ruth for some reason. During the session we learn of Mark’s grandparents’
nightmare vacation out in the desert in the family Winnebago.
Grandma sleeping.....something you will do too. |
What follows next
is truly sleep inducing as Grandma and Grandpa Douglas ride around the desert being
the good ole God fearing grandparents that they are. As they pass through the
desert they are assaulted by some unseen force which makes the keys in the
ignition jiggle around before taking control of the camper. They swerve around
the road for a good fifteen minutes before stopping. And by fifteen minutes I
don’t mean Hollywood fifteen minutes, I mean an ACTUAL fifteen minutes of
watching old people pretend they are being tossed around in a moving camper. At
the end of the ordeal Grandpa decides that having a salad will make everything
better. Really he says this, I am not joking.
Ruth! Stop this crazy thing! |
As they recover from their “frightening” ordeal they are
then assaulted by more paranormal activity as rocks and boulders begin to make
their way across the desert to try and cause harm to the elderly couple. So now
we are subjected to a good ten minutes of rocks, rolling end over end, forever
taking their sweet time to make it anywhere remotely close to the camper. They
finally make it out and to the campgrounds to try and enjoy their vacation.
Unfortunately while at the campground, Grandpa decides to climb up on the top
of the camper to fix the air conditioning. While he is up there the camper
mysteriously starts up on its own and takes off with Grandma inside all a
flutter and Grandpa hanging on top for dear life. So now we get even more
swerving, old lady tossing and old man pretending to be hanging onto the top of
the camper……another 5 or 6 minutes worth of this until the camper stops and
Grandpa has a heart attack. By this time you are really pretty much ready to
turn this thing off but for some reason it beckons you to stay seated. Either
this or you have fallen asleep and won’t wake up until the tape stops and
rewinds itself.
Another moment of sleep. |
It also turns out that Mark’s mother is an archeologist who
has been studying the ancient Indian tribe that was indigenous to the area. The
same desert area that Grandma and Grandpa were experiencing their paranormal
activity. Mark’s mother has unearthed several Indian mummies from one of the
caves and decides to get into their heads. She makes subconscious contact with
them which causes Mark to become possessed by the Indian spirit. Mark then
starts to experience out of body experiences and demonstrated plenty of odd
behavior which of course sparked the visit to Dr. Sills. The astral projection
sequence is probably the best part of the movie and is filmed in an eerie way
that is kind of creepy but certainly doesn’t save this film by any means. The
movie is just flat out boring and a chore to sit through.
While asleep leave your body and find another movie to watch. |
So anyway after Mark’s out of body experience his legs are
rendered paralyzed and is confined to a wheel chair. Dr. Sills realizes that
Mark is somehow possessed and lost his astral body to that of the spirit of the
Indian who seems pretty pissed off. They make a special trip to the desert and
bring Mark to the entrance of the cave. Here we find the mummies laid out on
funeral pyres and somehow they catch fire and the spirit of the Indian returns
to the mummified body and is forever set free while Mark gets his astral body
back and he hugs his Grandma. The End.
I really don’t know what more to say. This movie was boring.
Just boring as boring could be and I really hoped for some type of demonic show
down at the end, which technically happened but there was no fanfare at all.
Just some shots of Mark staring at the pyres and bam! All is good. This was one
of those titles that I thought the cover art looked cool. I liked the title of
the movie and had hoped that it was a diamond in the rough. Alas, tis no
treasure to be found here, only a sleep agent.
For some reason I can't get Blogger to load the trailer so here is the link....sleep tight!
What a worthless excuse of a "review" this is.
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